isamazed

Title: Beauty and the Beast
Author: isamazed
Word count: approx. 2,550
Characters: Becker/Ethan
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Primeval belongs to Impossible Pictures. I only write for fun…
A/N: In a way, this was written for eriah211's Valentine's Day Gift Box 2022 on Primeval Denial. More truthfully, it was written as her Secret Santa 2021 and turned out way too dark for Christmas ;-) What an irony, that I am now stuffing your Valentine's gift box on primeval_denial with it. I hope you don't mind! Sorry, I can't remember the prompts anymore and my inbox ate up that email! It will be a surprise ;-)
Thank you fredbassett for your fantastic beta services!

Becker threw the letters he'd just fished out of the mailbox onto the coffee table and trudged back to the kitchen in the search of beer. The day had been fairly easy, just office tasks and giving a welcome speech to the small group of new recruits on the security team, but he was still a little moody and was feeling sorry for himself.

Only one more week until Christmas and everybody was all heart-eyes and mistletoe and looking forward to spending the holidays with their partners and families while Becker was alone and would cover a couple of shifts during the festive days. Not that he minded per se – as the CO he should role model in fairness take his share of the shitty shifts – but it would be nice to have someone to come home to afterwards and spend his off-time with. And maybe cuddle a little.

Better not tell anyone about that thought, though. Boy, would that fuck up his image. He should probably take the military weaponry encyclopedia home with him so that that couldn't happen.

He melted into the couch and the beer was cold and soothed his frustration a little, and after a couple of minutes he'd psyched himself up enough to face the letters waiting for him. No doubt mostly bills and maybe the rare letter or postcard from an army friend overseas. He both longed for and dreaded those because it was equal chances the news would be good or bad. None of those this time, however, but between the envelopes a smaller but sturdy piece of paper dislodged and floated to the ground. Surprised, he bent down to pick it up.

It was a picture, an old black and white photograph of a man with unruly dark hair and a gruff beard. Going by his attire, it was probably taken about a 100 years ago. It was Ethan Dobrowski. The man that had killed one of his team, kidnapped Emily and shot Becker in the chest – twice.

What the hell?

Becker stared at the picture for a moment and then flipped it over to check if there was a message to go with the unexpected photograph. And there it was - a few words scribbled on the back.

This time I won't let you get away.

I'll come for you soon.

Becker shivered.

Ethan knew where he lived. He was here in the present, or at least he had been at some point since Becker had come home last night. He had obviously been following Becker. And Becker hadn't realised.

The thought was disturbing. Surely, he should have noticed someone watching him. He was a trained soldier after all.

The message was creepy and he should probably report it immediately.

Becker decided not to think about why he also found the words weirdly comforting. Anything concerning Ethan was so messed up and complicated that he had long since decided not to deal with it.

He had a feeling he wouldn't report the message though.

# # #

The Christmas Eve shift held more excitement than he'd hoped but less than he'd feared. The worst of it was a banged up elbow for one of his men and a few chewed up chocolate bars in a sweet factory that luckily had been closed up for the holidays. They'd caught the rodent-like creatures from who-knows-when rather quickly with the appropriate bait. The little buggers were now being watched in the ARC pens in case their snack didn't agree with them.

It was late afternoon now, and he fully intended to enjoy a trashy action movie with an appropriate number of explosions before catching a couple hours of sleep and then returning to the ARC in the early morning hours. It was a small price to pay for him and would allow the parents on the team to enjoy Christmas morning with their families.

He kicked off his boots in the hallway, threw his jacket onto the hook on the wall and turned towards his living room. When he stepped through the doorway, he saw a dark, still figure sitting on the sofa.

Ethan.

Becker tried not to let on how it startled him.

"You really shouldn't have come here," he said to the man.

"You're hurting my feelings, soldier boy. In view of the effort you put into containing me – without much success I may add – I thought you'd be happier about this unexpected Christmas present,“ Ethan replied with a shark-like grin.

"You know, for all the effort you've put into hiding from your brother, you two are a lot alike. And I don't see any presents. There's not a single piece of wrapping paper in sight.“

Ethan stood and slowly slunk towards Becker. A slow lazy smile spread on his face.

"Aww, come on. Don't be like that. There wasn't enough wrapping paper where I came from to wrap all of this.“

Becker snorted. "You mean there's not enough wrapping paper in the entire world through all ages to cover that ego of yours, huh?“

"Yeah, maybe.“ Ethan shrugged. "I don't hear you complaining though. Not really.“ Ethan closed the remaining gap between them and gently bumped his nose against Becker's before resting his forehead against the other man's. They breathed in and out together for a moment and then Ethan said quietly, as if just starting their conversation, "Hey, handsome. It's good to see you.“

Becker's heart tightened painfully for a moment and he took in a shuddery breath. He felt like running for the hills and holding on to this moment at the same time. He settled on enveloping Ethan in a bone-crushing hug. It was true – it was good to see Ethan again.

And Becker hated himself for it.

He shouldn't want this, shouldn't want him. Ethan was dangerous. He had hurt his team, had hurt Becker. He was a killer and Becker had orders to shoot him on sight. Becker crashed their lips together hard.

Their kiss was desperate and fierce. Their teeth clashed together a couple of times while their tongues fought for dominence. They frantically tugged at each other's clothes and stumbled through the hallway towards Becker's bedroom, leaving behind a trail of clothes.

# # #

Later, Becker rested his head on Ethan's shoulder and enjoyed the feeling of Ethan's fingers tracing invisible patterns on his back.

He snorted at the thought of what that information would do to his image at the ARC and then, to cover it up, asked, "When did you come back anyway? We reached all anomaly sites within just a couple of minutes lately. There was no sign of anyone coming through.“

Ethan chuckled quietly. "Your men didn't check that closed bookshop too thoroughly when they thought it had just been a malfunction of that ADD thing of yours. Honestly, it's a miracle they've lasted this long.“

"Fucking idiots. They'll run so many extra laps they won't know what‘s hit them,“ Becker grumbled.

Ethan's chest shook as he laughed a little more. Then they lapsed into silence again.

Now that the afterglow was leaving him, a wave of regret hit Becker. He'd just betrayed everything he'd always believed in and anyone who trusted him with their life. He was a traitor.

And for what? Just for a quick fuck? Jesus.

Abruptly, Becker sat up. He bunched up the blanket in his fists and glared at Ethan in a desperate attempt to put all his self-loathing into his gaze and project it on the other man.

"You really shouldn't have come, Ethan.“

"Are you asking me to leave?“

"Ethan... This can't work. This is the worst idea of all time. You must know this. I‘m a soldier, the ARC's Head of Security. I fight to protect people. And you... You're one of the ARC’s most wanted people. You're an anarchist. You're a muderer. For god's sake, you killed one of my men. There's no telling how many people you‘ve killed! And you clearly showed that you have no qualms about doing it again.“

"I am not, though, not really. A mass murderer, I mean. You know that, right?“

"That newspaper article said otherwise.“

"I just assumed his name. Why would I care enough about something as dumb as politics to kill for it? That's ridiculous. Knowing about the gateways and traveling through time... Politics is something for power hungry wimps that don't get to have a say at home. It's hardly worth the effort. If I don't want to put up with a certain era or a place, I'll just up and leave. There are no limits, not for me. I can be anywhere, any time, if I please. I have no interest in the petty little schemes people occupy themselves with. They're just day flies. They don't matter. Not to me.“

Ethan's face turned thoughtful as he continued, "Ethan though... I met him and he fascinated me. He was charismatic, smart and he was ruthless. He did what he thought was right, and I... I respected him for that. It's what kept me alive all those years. Doing what needs to get done to achieve your goal, and not ever look back. So when he died – of a simple flu, can you believe it? - I just assumed his name. The name of man with a spine. Not a wuss, like all the others.“ His gaze bore into Becker's eyes. "And don't tell me you're not the same, soldier boy. You wouldn't be where you are if you had any qualms about doing what's necessary. Even if it gets ugly sometimes.“

They stared and each other.

"I guess I can respect that.“ Becker swallowed. He could understand what Ethan saw in the man whose name he'd decided to take. But that didn't mean he could just ignore everything else. "Still, you killed one of my men. That won't go away.“ That came out stronger, hard, and pained.

How could Becker be attracted to a man that had murdered one of his team in cold blood? He'd just ended a man's life because he was in the way. A man Becker had been responsible for, a man whose family he‘d had to inform that their husband and father wouldn't come home. A man whose funeral he had attended and he had seen his kids sob.

Bile rose in his throat. He hated himself fiercly for wanting the man who'd caused all this pain.

I am sorry. I wouldn't have done it if I'd known before.“

"What? That you want to fuck me? That's a pretty poor excuse.“

"I know, and I am sorry for that, too. But I never killed anyone when I didn't think it was necessary. You cornered me. You accused me of being some kind of villain when I had just lost the most important person in my life. You all just decided I was a monster when all I was doing was grieving Charlotte's death and you wouldn't even let me bury her. You say I am dangerous and mad when at the same time you just claimed gateways as yours when you have no clue about them and they've been there since the beginning of all time and will be there when you've all long turned to dust. And just because I was traveling through them and out of my mind with grief, you decided to lock me up. You caged me and I knew you'd never let me go if I didn't make a run for it when I had the chance.“

Becker flinched. It was true. They had never even thought about what they'd taken away from Ethan when they didn't allow him to say his goodbyes to what was left of Charlotte. Maybe they were monsters too.

Both men were quiet for a while before Ethan resumed speaking quietly.

"I know it hurts you to want me because of what I did. We both know that you're the beauty and I am the beast in this tale.“

Becker didn't know what to do with that. Had Ethan not just made him see that he was his own version of a monster?

After a couple of minutes, Ethan got out of the bed, picked up his briefs from the floor and tugged them up to his hips. He cleared his throat.

"If you really want me to leave, just say the word. I won't bother you again. But if you're willing to give us a chance, I am ready to be a better person now. I can rein that part of me in.“

"I don't want you to change for me.“ Becker exclaimed almost angrily. That would never work and Becker despised himself for the sliver of hope creeping up in him.

Ethan's face morphed into a lopsided grin.

"That's not true though, is it? And don't be too full of yourself, soldier boy. I am not just doing this for you. I am beyond ready to enjoy some of the comforts of this century before our species rips everything to shreds.“

"Just wanting a fresh start won't make your entire past go away, Ethan.“ And it wouldn't. The ARC would create havoc as soon as they realized that Ethan was within grabbing distance.

"Past... Future... I have things I can give you guys. I can be valuable, an asset for your team. Hell, I know things about the gateways you don't even dream about. I've traveled through them for over 15 years. With my knowledge and experience, your little scientists can go a long way, don't you think? Isn't that worth anything? Isn't it worth my freedom? Think of all the lives you could save with that knowledge.“

Becker suspected there was a good chance that it was. It wasn't like they could drag Ethan to court and throw him into prison. He fucking didn't even offially exist at this point in time. Ethan Dobrowski hadn't been anything but a memory in decades and Patrick Quinn had long since been declared dead, too. Still, he hesitated. It would be an ugly affair.

And the way Ethan talked about it nagged at him. Morals would likely always be something that drove a wedge between them.

Ethan sat down on the bed next to him and enveloped Becker's hands in his own.

"Maybe it's time for me to set Ethan Dobrowski to rest and be Patrick Quinn again,“ He smiled almost shyly. "During the first years of my travels, all I ever wanted was to come back home. Spend time with my brother. Build a life. Find someone to share it with. I could have a chance at all of that now, I hope.“ He squeezed Becker's hands softly. "What do you say?“

Hell, Becker wanted that so much too. But could it work? All odds were against them.

Ethan leaned in and rubbed their noses together. "I am willing to do whatever it takes. What do you say? Give me a chance?“

Becker closed his eyes and swallowed. His heart was tearing apart. Whatever he did would be wrong, and would be right at the same time.

"Okay,“ Becker whispered.

They kissed.

Becker was sure it would get ugly, but they could put that off to another day.